WHY - THE ORIGIN STORY January 1st 2020, I was blessed with a compounded concussion.
Though one would think a brain injury flipped my world upside-down in a negative way, it actually resulted in me blossoming. I embraced my spirit. I felt a homecoming and experienced radical self acceptance. I had known 2020 was going to be an exciting year (new decade after all!), but nothing like this was in my expectations. And, looking back now, I'm glad. This experience taught me to stop having expectations; to detach, release, and instead embrace all possibilities and let the whimsy in.
With the symptoms, I had to be off-screen for months. I couldn't rely on the usual distractions like my phone, TV, or upbeat music. Yes, if you are doing the math timing, this was during the pandemic, and stuck at home unable to work due to the injury. Needless to say, I am behind on 2020 pop culture references! Yet, these were the things I used to hide myself. I pretended I didn't have more potential, that I was "busy", and I'd get to my dreams another day. Reflecting, I wasn't ready to do the work, be heard or seen before the injury. I had low self esteem.
It was through this experience, only being able to spend time with myself, I can confidently say I developed high self esteem. Again, a homecoming. With this came clarity. And a new perspective on life. Gone now are the thought patterns and toxic behaviours- I can't remember them (concussion), and I've created a much healthier mindset through all the work done, habits, and self-love. Gone now is the constant anxiety that had been with me since I was 15. No longer trapped in my head. The feeling of a clean slate woke/wake me up every morning full of inspiration. I have had the opportunity to create a new realm to exist within myself and the world.... and it's full of whimsy and love.
To spend my days, the only true option was to play; to revert back to how I would have spent my days as a child, lead by imagination and offline. For another post, I had without knowing re-connected with, nourished and was healing my inner-child. To avoid overwhelm, I cheerfully organized a plan and called it Olive That Whimsy Camp. "All that" (Olive) work will be referred to as Camp. Camp started by listing all the activities, hobbies, and inspirations I loved as a child. Then I made a schedule to keep myself motivated. For another time, we can talk about the existential internal worth crisis that comes with being unemployed, especially due mental health, or injury. Fundamentally, I needed something to look forward to. To feel like I accomplished something. To feel challenged. To have worth and feel proud. From the list of ideas, I created themes, so that each day had goals that would support my healing. Having daily, weekly, and monthly goals were pivotal. They built up my self-esteem the most. No matter how small.
With this all offline, I journaled every moment. All the lessons, experiments, downfalls, and aha moments. Olive That Whimsy is all of that. And more.